The beautiful purplish flowerbed is filled with exotic white flowers leaning themselves toward the warmth sunlight, is what greeted me when I looked outside the small round windows when I woke up.
The world outside the windows seems to be so warm and cozy, as if it is waiting to embrace me with its warmth.
However, it was opposite inside.
It was icy and cold.
I couldn’t remember how long had I held onto my dress and cried. The once pure white dress was now stained with both the drink and my tears. It got tarnished.
So am I
Today is suppose to be a holy day for everyone where children will woke up with presents lying beside, while the parents will wake up from the cheers from their excited child.
Of course, I was not excluded as well.
I woke up, finding my “present” lying beside me.
It was a guy, a guy whom I do not know and do not wish to know.
I couldn’t explain what had happened until I saw the top of the table where I saw a bottle of tablets beside the glass cup.
I couldn’t know what I should do. I lying on a bed unknowingly and there is another man sleeping beside me all the while. My dress was loose and stained with the yellow residue of the drink earlier or was it something else which I never wished to find out.
I really couldn’t know what is going on.
I just cried.
I cried so hard that it woke him up. I couldn’t know what to do with him awoke.
Will he going to do anything he wants to me again?
Will he going to continue?
I had no answer to that. I just pushed him far away from me, hoping that I will never see this disgusting being ever again.
He shouted and telling me to stop. But I couldn’t listen to him as none of his words could even reach my ears. The cries inside me was too loud
The next thing he did was walking toward the table, filling up the glass cup with water. After filling up, he walked toward me with his hand holding onto the bottle of tablet.
I was staring at all his action and now he was approaching me with that unknown drug.
Is he going to drug me again?
I was confused and scared.
Every of his footsteps were making my heart stopped as he approached. Right in front of my face, was the cup of water with the tablet dissolved slowly into it as it gives off the dizzying sound.
I pushed his hand away, leaving the glass to fall onto the hard ground. The glass shattered as it lands. His expression was shocked but still his confusion wouldn’t even matched mine or even come close to what I am feeling right now.
“GET OUT!” I screamed.
With the creaking noise of the rusty hinge of the doors, he had left the room.
I looked outside the windows. It was like a perfect morning with clear sky, the warmth outside which seems waiting for me to embrace on.
However, no amount of heat will be able to thaw my deep frozen heart anymore.
I asked myself why did all these happened to me
Some people said that you might feel excited when you had your first time. Some said you might feel a little pain and others said that you will definitely love it.
But for me, I wouldn’t even able to feel anything.
I looked back on myself, looking at the stained dress which is wetted from my tears.
“I ‘m tarnished”
“I ‘m dirtied”
“I ‘m used”
“I ‘m no longer pure”
“I ‘m damaged”
In one short night, my body was no longer fit for marriage anymore.
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