Chapter 7 - The Message

The ceiling was wide, so much wider than it seems. It looks like the night sky, stretching across the vast horizon, yet without any stars.

Reaching my hand out, trying to grasp onto it. Yet there is nothing, nothing there for me to grasp. It’s a complete darkness.

There I am, lying onto my bed, staring blankly onto the ceiling, a complete darkness where I couldn’t even tell where am I looking at.

I feel empty, so empty that makes me wonder why I exist for.

“The world will not just halt when I disappear, no one cares whether I existed or not...” I thought to myself, while staring at the darkness

“Bzzzzz Bzzzzzz….”

The phone vibrated, with the flickering LCD, making the dark room glow for a moment.

I could see my hand now, grasping to what which is no longer call darkness, but the morning sky.

“Even if there is no one care for me, but there is still someone I care for… “ I thought to myself while looking at the lilted room.

I picked up the phone, wondering who could message me at this time. It’s already 1am, 5 hours ever since I sent her home, 4 hours ever since I stare blankly onto the ceiling.

I flipped the phone and read.

“Thank you for the help today! – Sheryl (:”

These simple 6 words, yet contains so much feelings behind, making me feeling really guilty, for which she will not need to undergo all these. She is innocent.

The smiley at the end of the message, something which makes me feels even worse. How can she manage to stay like this, even though she undergoes these nightmares?

I got to do something, something to protect her smile, something which allows her to keep on smiling. I swear that I could no longer make a maiden cry.

Especially Sheryl, someone who is strong, encouraging others whenever they in a pinch. Yet someone so strong could cry, crying right in front of me. Her tearful face is something which I can’t forget, even though this is not what I want.

I picked up my phone, and replied her back

Those anguish feeling inside me which accumulate so much, especially since I can’t protect someone, someone who is dear to me.

Shutting my eyes, trying to think of any solution, and yet I can’t think of any. Because all I could see was her tearful face then, and a useless me who dragged her down by making her to escape together with me.

With all those frustration contained inside me, I give the cold hard wall a punch. My fist was numbed and yet the wall remains the same.

The wall is hard. It’s is strong, it faced the problem straight even though that it’s know what’s coming for it. It’s didn’t run away nor crumpled up. In fact it even repels the attacks back to the aggressor.

With that i realize that I shouldn’t run away anymore, instead I will face it straight…